i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's like heaven, but drunker
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
