dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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