Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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