I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize
