I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
