just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
