there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
