I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
