Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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