everyone is single if you try hard enough
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
