he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
