who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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