We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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