At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
