He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
