Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
