Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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