every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She announced her abortion via fbk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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