I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
