I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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