I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
