The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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