So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
