smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
