Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
