i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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