I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
