Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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