the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
