girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
