i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
