Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
