Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
