I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
