Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
