tell your sister to shave her snatch
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
