I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
