And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
