I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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