Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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