There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
