Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
