That's intense
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
