Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
