What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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