Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize