Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
