a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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