try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
