i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
