I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
