Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
