the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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