I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
