we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
