I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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