well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
