At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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