Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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